I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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