windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
50% drunk capacity currently
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
