I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Randomize
