so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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