His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
