you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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