took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
