I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
