I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
