his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize