i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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