Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
