Already got asked if we're dating
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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