Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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