It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
