i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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