yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
