I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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