Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Screwed.edu
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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