The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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