I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
