Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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