so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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