I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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