i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
