i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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