So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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