Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize