I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the day after is always just damage control
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
