Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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