these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
