The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
