Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
