...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
