i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
