My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
