that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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