I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You need Xanax blowdarts
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
