i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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