Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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