where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
