You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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