Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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