P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
