ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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