Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
