we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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