He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize