Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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