Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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