I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
