Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
