Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
