no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize