There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
