You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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