Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
