3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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