just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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