I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
