Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
