Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
