Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
